Relationships are like the weather. You can never predict
its temperament. One moment it may be sunny and calm, the next moment there may
be a storm. It is normal for people to get into conflicts, especially for
couples who generally spend more time together. Today, I am going to share an
ongoing interpersonal conflict between my girlfriend, Kristine, and I, to provide an analysis
of the conflict to identify possible influences of the problem.
For those who do not know, I am a SEEMS ( System Engineering
Electromechanical Systems ) student at Digipen, Singapore Institute of
Technology. On top of that, I am an Infantry Officer of the Singapore Armed
Forces. With that, I seldom have time for Kristine due to commitments from
school and army. Despite time constraints,
I would meet up with Kristine to do my work, while she uses her smartphone to
listen to music or browse the social applications for entertainment. Occasionally,
she would giggle from the entertainments, but she would not share with me as it
would be distracting me she said. This went on for 6 months now and I thought the
relationship is going well as she seemed to enjoy herself with me simply being
by her side. However, lately, she complains about my lack of commitment in the
relationship and speaks to me sarcastically. Firstly, she would make a fuss
that we are not able to enjoy a date properly like other normal couples do.
Secondly, when she sees that I was active on Facebook moments ago, she would
send me a message: “Amazing, you seemed to be free.”.
In my opinion, Kristine may have been feeling left out due
to emotions like envy and frustration. Firstly, Kristine probably stumbled upon
some couple’s sweet social post which is quite mainstream of the social media
today. Seeing how some of her friends’ boyfriend could pamper them must have
spiked her desire for attention. Secondly, she might be feeling frustrated from
refraining herself to talk to me. I cannot deny that I am not updated with the
events of Kristine’s daily life. With the above analysis, if you were in my shoes,
how would you resolve the conflict?
Hi Andy,
ReplyDeleteI understand how you feel struggling with school work, your career and girlfriend. You can end up being very stressful trying to juggle everything and to add on to the stress, your girlfriend decided to speak to you in a sarcastic manner. Personally, I do not like people talking to me in a sarcastic manner especially when I am not in a good mood. One of the reason for your girlfriend to act in this manner is because she trying to get your attention. What I can suggest to you, just like what I had suggested to Harold when he talking to me about his girlfriend, was to free up your Friday night every week after school and go have a date with your girlfriend. You try to bring her out for a simple dinner or a movie. In addition, talk to her and let her understand your situation. In result, Kristine will not feel left out and you still can get to manage your school work.
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ReplyDeleteHi Andy,
ReplyDeleteI understand that as a SEEMS student, having a balance between relationship and study is a far fetched dream for us. Letting her know the amount of stress that you are facing and finding ways that can compromise each other points. Set a schedule for the week and get organised. Spending a couple of hours per week with her, making the time with her worthwhile.
P.S. Do something different for each meet up.
(Who won’t want to have great stories that could proudly brag about it?!)
ʕ•ᴥ•ʔ
teckcheng